First let me note that I've not lost anyone terribly close to me in my 49 years. No siblings, parents, children or spouses. Just the typical losses that come over the years - grandparents who's time is just...up. Schoolmates who lived too hard and too fast. Acquaintances in car accidents. Associates who bogarted that joint. Co-workers who worked really hard I guess. Maybe I'm prepping myself for the inevitable or perhaps I've lost my interest in the living and the hereafter holds more intrigue - it is in fact where we'll spend the most time, eternity.
I'm absolutely intrigued at how other's handle death/grief. Where better to indulge my curiosity than at funerals?
The first funeral I recall attending was when I was about 9 yrs old. My Aunt Eunice had died from hepatitis related complications. I vaguely remember not particularly wanting to go - not because of the death angle but because Aunt Eunice blatantly favored my older sister Kim over me and in my 9-yr. old mind was the blame for me getting hit by a car when I was 6 one summer in New Jersey. BUT, I digress. So mom gets me all dolled up and ready to go. I'm rocking a leopard-print beret (ever the Styler ;!) and something velvet if I recall. I can't tell you much about the funeral itself but I know that night I was NOT going to sleep by myself!
Fast forward to today - my rationalization: As with a wedding, attending a funeral can afford you just as much in the way of laughter, tears and reconnecting with family and old friends; you can get dressed up if you want (or not) and if you're lucky, catch some Oscar-worthy drama and get a good meal if you attend the repast - and you don't have to buy a gift!
I try to attend at least one funeral every 6-8 weeks. It's not always easy especially if I don't have ANY connection to the deceased (knowing the deceased isn't a prerequisite for my showing up..) or of course nobody's dying! But oooooh chile! It's been a dying season and I'll take you along with me (in your mind of course) - it'll be just like you were there. Trust me...
But about this posts' title - "It's the 'Dash' in between?? Y'know, on the headstone or grave marker after the dead person's name they put the date born - then the date died. THAT dash. Yeah. That's what really counts...the dash in between those date and what you do with it. That's what's really good.
Chat soon with latest service/diary!
1 comment:
I love your perspective. I'm always caught up in the feeling of loss, although not so much with folks I don't know. Your perspective is as interesting as it is refreshing.
Post a Comment